Throughout my existence I have made horrible eating decisions. At my heaviest in the history of my life all I can do is close my eyes and try to understand myself and the choices I have made. I think maybe everybody struggling with their weight reaches a point in life where you know something has to be done but your still looking for answers and your still asking for hope. For the longest time I made excuses. There were so many "tomorrows" until the day came that I realized tomorrow might never come.
I am nearly 33 years old, about five foot five and weigh 285 pounds. I never in my life thought I would be this heavy or even allow myself to pass the 250 threshold. I have a heart arrhythmia called SVT and I have neuro-cardiogenic syncope (POTS Syndrome) as a result of having cured my SVT with a heart ablation procedure. I have pain in my knees, daily migraines and chronic back pain. I also have severe social anxiety and generalized anxiety including panic attacks. These are only my conditions and not my symptoms. I take three and only three prescription medications to help me cope with all of this. I also attend therapy for my anxiety.
The thing is that I know I'm not too far gone. I have a lot that I am grateful for. I know I have the ability to start over and fix myself and I am lucky to begin again at a mended yet solid foundation. This will not be easy but it has to be done.
So today I woke up and thanked God for another chance at life. I made the decision to start the weight watchers online program and take this weight off once and for all.